At a very early age I was exposed to social media. My first account was a friendster and I also had an email at a very very very young age (I was seven I think). I then made a facebook account, faking my age so that I could make one. I didn’t really understand what facebook was for, I was in it for the online games.
But as I grew older a bit, I joined instagram and I was clueless as ever. At first my pictures were carelessly uploaded, just for fun.
But as time flew by and I started to see other instagram accounts, I started to change my view of social media. Everything that I posted were carefully engineered, and was thought hard for minutes, to impress.
Everything that I posted was for someone to think I was cool or happy, not for the reason that I wanted to express myself. These however were the reason that also made me unhappy for a few hours in a day. These were the reason I hated parts of my face. I felt the pressure of making myself look good in my account no matter what.
I would tell my friends not to post this or that picture of me that I thought I looked ugly in. I was so self conscious. I was insecure.
Its like a phase in my life that I would never want to go back in because it was when I felt really bad about myself, looking back, I don’t really know why.
Maybe because theres this image we all want to keep up with. Because in our generation, I think we keep defining beauty the wrong way.We define it as a pointy nose, with long straight silky hair, bright skin, long legs, and etc. -all those stuff.
I don’t know with most of you, but I see beauty as someone who is carefree about herself, who has a genuine smile, and who is open, smart, and I dunno, just herself. Cause I feel that most girls my age, and maybe older or younger than me, have these picture perfect instagrams that mostly don’t have variety anymore, just pictures of themselves and clothes and bags and material things and I don’t see personality, or real-ness.
I’m not dissing on anyone, or those girls, cause probably they are at the same train as I was when I was very self conscious about myself.
Maybe we have to stop creating these false images of what an ideal girl must look like. An ideal girl looks like a million faces, and that’s all the girls in the world. We all look pretty and gorgeous just by being ourselves.
So I dedicate this post to everyone who felt like they were ugly as hell and actually thought for a second that the physical feature of a person is what measures their worth.
Just do you. As cliché as it sounds, life is too short to create a false image of yourself to impress people who don’t deserve it. YOU 🌺 ARE 🌺 AWESOME